


'rule can't cook ok?

by Junnieevee



Series: sometimes a family can be a bunch of incarnations of yourself and a wolf (who's also an incarnation) [1]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cinnamon Roll Hyrule, Gen, Hyrule can't cook, Legend Is So Done, Legend is a softie, Papa Time, Trauma, because sometimes a family can be a bunch of incarnations of yourself and a wolf, but he can kick your ass, df i love u so much u r so sweet, i just want to see my boys doing mundane things, im so sorry i made wild sick, maybe crack i guess, not really - Freeform, they're all a big family, who also is an incarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23650696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junnieevee/pseuds/Junnieevee
Summary: “If you know why you don’t ever say anything?”“Because it’s funny, and I like forcing Legend to be the real softie he is inside”orWild's sick so someone else has to cook now.
Relationships: Hyrule & Legend (Linked Universe), Hyrule & Wild (Linked Universe), Legend & Warriors (Linked Universe)
Series: sometimes a family can be a bunch of incarnations of yourself and a wolf (who's also an incarnation) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702714
Comments: 14
Kudos: 399





	'rule can't cook ok?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dfanart (df-chan)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=dfanart+%28df-chan%29).



> This is some little thing I made for @dfanart on tumblr since this person is so beautiful and is trying their best to cheer the fandom up on this hard times <3 you can check some of their work here, please go there and give them some love! 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/search/dfanart/blog/dfanart

Wild was sick.

It was a sudden stop on their journey, one that, in Hyrule’s opinion, had to have been done way earlier than this. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine, really, I’ve dealt with worse things before, a cold is not going to kill me” the Champion insisted as Twilight fussed over him with worried looks and concern pouring of his words. 

“You have a fever cub, don’t give me that shit” 

“Language pup” scolded Time

Legend scoffed a sarcastic laugh.

“Yeah pup, the only ones allowed to swear are me and the sailor,” he said “C’mon Old Man, he’s a big boy now, let him be”

Time rolled his eyes, not even caring to give his fellow hero one of his looksTM as he said “We’re stopping here” out loud for everyone to hear. Of course, Wild’s eyes shot up, about to try and convince them that he didn’t need rest. Hyrule didn’t have a lot of experience with kids, but he could tell that right now Wild looked like one, almost pouting under the heavy glares of concerned adults trying to take care of him.

“Shut it Champ, think about it like this” interrupted Warriors smoothly, patting his friend’s shoulder “If you keep being that stubborn, traveling without proper rest, your body will fight the virus inside you weakly, and maybe you’ll feel better for a day or two before the virus returns worse than before and stronger than your immune system” at the blinking, feverish red face of his friend he explained “So you could die, or catch something worse. And your cold, virulent body will spread the disease to us and everyone will die as well”

At Wild’s horrified face Twilight shot War a scolding look, but before he could protest against the Captain’s learning traumatizing methods, Legend talked too.

“Yeah, I’ve seen it before. Truly a shame, lots of travelers and mighty warriors succumbed before an illness instead of their foe’s sword” he added.

“Honestly, the last he needs is more trauma…” growled Twilight.

But then, surprisingly, Wild gulped hard (grimacing at the sting of pain his own saliva caused to his throat) and took a seat on his sleeping bag already laid on the floor by Four, avoiding everyone’s eyes. Twilight rolled his eyes, not different from the way Time did it before and began removing Wild’s unnecessary gear and clothes to properly lay him down inside his bedroll, as Sky and Wind went back to the river they left behind a couple of miles ago, carrying dirty clothes and a bucket. Hyrule looked surprised at the team’s sassy duo, both of them looking smug and proud of themselves.

“You only took advantage of his lack of medical knowledge” he complained under his breath at Legend’s side.

“The kid’s stubborn as hell, what else can we do?” he replied with an amused smirk “Besides, you know my favorite hobby is traumatizing children”

Warriors suddenly didn’t look as smug as before.

“Yeah, it’s because of you that Wind couldn’t sleep an entire week, wary of the Geldman” he scoffed “What is that anyway?”

“Hideous sand creatures, not my favorite to fight” sighed Hyrule 

“Oh, you haven’t seen them without the sand on”

“They are more than sand and evil?” 

“You don’t want to know”

A pair of hands fell heavily on each, Legend’s and Warrior’s, respective shoulders. Hyrule jumped a bit at Time’s sudden intervention, and his two friends didn’t look as calm as before.

“Since our only decent cook it’s out of commission for illness and trauma...” he began, voice almost amused “Cooking duty, the two of you”

Warriors, maybe used to receiving orders from his world’s higher ranks (he supposed Time counted as a higher rank among them), only answered with a nervous, short “Yes sir”, while Legend only groaned. 

“I can help” he offered himself before Legend could begin complaining, taking pity on his friends with a kind smile. The last thing they needed right now was a tantrum. “Wild taught me how to do spicy mushroom skewers, we can have that for now and maybe wildberry crepes for dinner”

The sound of his own menu made him salivate, and he could see on his teammates' expressions that the promise of a nice lunch and dinner was too good to be true. They looked worriedly at each other.

“I… don’t think that the cub has all the ingredients for the crepes…” Time said slowly.

“Oh! He has! We made a list of his inventory back at Legend’s Hyrule last week as you asked us to do.” Legend and War gave Time a look he couldn’t decipher. Anyways, it wasn’t important right now “I don’t think we’ve already used all the ingredients, so it must be fine!”

“How about you go search for some dry wood to light the fire?” asked Warriors, obviously nervous by Time’s strong presence still by his side. What else could it be?

“You can do that if you want, I know how much you hate cooking. Besides, between the two of you nothing would get done in time, and Wild needs a proper meal to get better sooner. We can even make a soup for him”

Legend sighed “Look ‘Rule, I really appreciate your offering but your cooking is-” he suddenly stopped talking (Time’s grip on his shoulder seemed to be tighter, but he couldn't be sure), words dead on his mouth.

“As good as anybody's except Wild here” Time completed “As for the soup… I’ll ask Twilight his pumpkin and fish soup recipe”

Hyrule scrunched up his nose “That doesn’t sound tasty”

Legend scoffed a laugh.

“Well, we’re looking for a healthy meal to help Wild, the taste is not that important,” said Time, giving Legend a hard look. That’s what you get if you say something about their leader’s honorary protegé he guessed.

“Hmm, you’re right, when I cook I try to make it as healthy as I can, sometimes I even forget making it as tasty as Wild’s recipes!” he laughed, followed by the others (although their laughs sounded a little bit tight… maybe they were tired of all this mess). “Alright! I’ll search the ingredients on Wild’s slate, you two prepare the fire”

And Hyrule spun around, walking towards his sick friend. He couldn’t hear his comrades’ talk after that.

“...keep an eye on him”

“Don’t have to say it twice, Old Man” sighed Warriors 

“I’m not letting him touch the grill” growled Legend

* * *

  
  
  


Warriors was nowhere to be seen. Hyrule was adding something possibly hideous to his perfectly made spicy mushroom skewers, and Wild was throwing up behind a bush, where Twilight strategically dug a hole preventing all this mess. So not only a cold then.

“I guess the berries we ate at my Hyrule weren’t edible after all…” said Hyrule with a guilty expression on his face.

“Ever heard of disinfecting things before eating them?” 

It was a hypocritical judgment of his part. After all, they didn’t always have the luxury of eating ‘nice things’ as travelers, you only take what’s available and edible enough to keep you on your feet. However, Legend tried to, at least, rinse with a little amount of water the things he ate.

“They looked like perfectly normal blueberries to me,” said Hyrule, arms crossed over his chest.

“You know what moonseed berries are?”

“No, but sounds kinda pretty”

“Poisonous. Those pretty berries are killing our friend”

“Oh….”

While he examined their lunch (luckily, whatever Hyrule added to the mushrooms wasn’t moonseed berries), his friend looked over Wild’s bedroll. The guy looked miserable, with a piece of ripped, wet cloth over his forehead and hair splayed all around his head, golden locks sticking on his sweaty, feverish face. Four was trying to raise his spirits by telling him some stories about his adventures since he couldn’t sleep, as Twilight tried to recreate his weird friend’s soup recipe.

“Ah, I guess he shouldn't fear to infect us then” Hyrule smiled

“Maybe not, but he doesn't have to know that” 

“That’s cruel”

“Says the guy that let the cub eat moonseed berries”

“I didn’t know! That’s not fair”

“Life’s not fair bud, deal with it”

“No, but if we can make it a little more bearable- Hey, what are you doing to the mushrooms?”

Legend flinched. Hyrule had added a lot more of goron spices to some mushrooms, so he intended to just… you know, let them… scorch… accidentally.

“This… seemed to need a good stir, that’s all” 

“No Legend, you’re gonna burn it! Here, let me” he tried to snatch the skewer from Legend’s hands, but he dropped it into the fire. “Ah! Look what you've done!”

“Oopsie” Legend deadpanned

“You did that on purpose!”

“Me? What do you take me for, ‘Rule?”

“Oh quit it Legend! You ruined a perfect spicy mushroom skewer!” he argued, “Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you have to waste food!” 

“It wasn’t edible anyways” he rolled his eyes, and Hyrule gasped, offended

“It was!”

“Was not”

“Was too”

“Was not”

“Was too!”

“Was not”

“This is getting ridiculous…” growled Hyrule “We don’t have time for this, just make another one before Time gets mad. I’m not helping you anymore”

Legend almost smiled at that, but he forced himself to keep the sarcastic deadpan expression he was famous for. Internally he sighed, relieved.

“Whatever, go search Warriors. The fucker suddenly disappeared and he’s in this with me” 

“You would’ve run too if you got the opportunity”

“I’m not letting him enjoy his victory like that”

“Whatever…” 

Hyrule began searching, and finally, Legend could breathe. The camp was unusually quiet, he could only hear Four’s voice talking to Wild, who laughed weakly to his stories, and Twilight muttering under his breath near him, probably trying to remember if the fish was added before the pumpkin or vice versa. Time went exploring along with Wind in search of possible monster nests and camps that could mean a threat, while Sky carved a piece of wood near their sick friend.

They were somewhere among a forest on Four’s Hyrule, and the original plan was, in a short term, to get out of the forest, and in a long term, if the random switch actually let them, make their way to their short’s friend house. For now, Legend’s short term plan was feeding the entire party with the massive collection of fungi Wild stored on his slate.

His long term plan? Let Warriors starve for the rest of the day for leaving him alone with Hyrule in the kitchen. Grill. Fire, whatever. Although he felt bad for thinking about his friend like that. He meant Hyrule of course, he was still mad at Warriors, and Legend could barely be mad at ‘Rule for more than five seconds. 

“That doesn’t smell half bad” he heard Time behind him. So they were back “Why are there mushrooms burning directly in the fire tho?”

“That’s ‘Rule’s”

“Huh…”

“Hey Legend! Where’s War? He- Oh wow! Mushrooms, cool, I thought we all were going to eat whatever Twi’s doing over there” bounced Wind to his side, full of energy as ever. Time put a hand on his head, trying to keep him still in his place.

“The pup’s doing his best” he smiled, watching his struggling protegé at the corner of his eye. “Anyhow, I want to know where’s Warriors as well”

“The idiot left me alone here” Legend growled, “He told someone where he was going but I was too busy taking care of our food here. Hyrule is looking for him”

Time looked worried, the separation of the group always brought them bad news, but as far as they had been there, no dangerous nor infected monster had shown to them. He nodded in the end, and took a maybe-very-burned skewer from the grill, giving it a try.

“How is it?”

“I’ll survive” 

Wind giggled at that.

* * *

  
  
  
  


“If you know why you don’t ever say anything?”

“Because it’s funny, and I like forcing Legend to be the real softie he is inside”

After dinner Wild was feeling better, he surprisingly didn’t throw up Twilight’s soup and with the herbs he had on his slate Four managed to do some kind of medicine that settled up his stomach, and Sky warmed up some milk with honey to help his throat.

He was beyond grateful.

“What did you put on those crepes anyway?”

Everyone around the fire was trying to muffle their laughter as Legend ate a triangular piece of burnt dough with melted cream and cut wildberries inside. Hyrule only could make one of them before Four could remove him from the pan and do it himself, under Wild’s constant instructions and supervision. That’s how the others got a decent sweet dessert, and while of course Legend clearly was going to take one of those, Hyrule offered his with a big, innocent smile.

“Eh, don’t worry. Just grabbed things from your slate”

“Not everything on my slate is edible”

“Is that smelly thing ‘durian’ cool?”

Wild laughed as hard as he could without dying.

“It’s perfect”


End file.
